Whitey Sorkin

Whitey Sorkin’s Mum

She is Whitey Sorkin’s mother, a former IRA-moll who is Scrabble-pals with Gwendine O’Shay (See Below). She is dead.


Gwendine O’Shay

She is Whitey Sorkin’s secretary, and a former IRA-moll who gets hit in the head by a Belfast Bobbie and whose skull is now soft. She is the one who takes the phone call from Eighties Bill (See Below), accepting his bet on Brown University beating Yale University (though she mishears him and believes he is placing his bet on his alma-mater Yale University beating Brown University and not the other way around). Word spreads that the star player at Yale U suffers from 3-d, something that makes him dizzy after sexual intercourse or arousal, and Brown U stations women at various Yale U stop-points in order to keep him dizzy (and even has their cheerleaders not wear underwear). However, a group of Female Objectification protestors storm the game and make it so Yale U actually wins, making Sorkin and Eighties Bill think they’ve both lost, though they’ve actually both won. This miscommunication benefits Gene Fackelmann because he doesn’t have to pay either of them anything and can keep the money for himself. Gwendine is also Scrabble-pals with Sorkin’s mother (See Above).


Dr. Robert Monroe

“Sixties Bob”, “60s B”. He is Whitey Sorkin’s ergotic-vascular-headache-treatment specialist who is a bigger Grateful Dead fan than Trent Kite and who becomes close to Kite because of their love for the band. He is also the father of Eighties Bill (See Below).


Eighties Bill

He is an impeccably dressed man in his fifties who is an old-fashioned corporate taker-overer and asset-plunderer. He makes huge bets with Whitey Sorkin through Gene Fackelmann over college basketball, bets so huge that Fackelmann often has to call Sorkin in order to approve the amount. One of these bets is on Brown University beating Yale University (See Gwendine O’Shay, Above), though when Fackelmann calls Sorkin, Gwedine O’Shay answers because Sorkin is with Dr. Robert Monroe (See Above), Eighties Bill’s father.


DesMontes and Pointgravé

They are two Québecer muscle-boys who hire themselves out as enforcers for high-interest leaders, and who Whitey Sorkin utilizes when he needs to eliminate any maps They are the ones in charge of Gene Fackelmann‘s demapping.


Pharmacist’s Assistant

He is a gamble-happy eczematic through whom Don Gately and Gene Fackelmann meet White Sorkin.